The Punnery, Dick Ford

Welcome to the Punnery, formerly of GEnie's Telejoke RT.

Why did the chicken go half way across the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.

"Wordplay is like the fountain of youth," PUNce de Leon

"Ecce homonym," PUNtius Pilate

"The PUN is mightier than the S-word," PUN and Crimishment

"Hair today, gown tomorrow," RaPUNzel [and Lady Godiva].

"Uncle Jonathan's Gulliver will be on TV," Tom said Swiftly.

"Turn off that science guy!" Tom denied.

"I don't have my sea legs yet," Tom declaimed.

Philosopher's Corner:

Pepe Le Pew - I stink; therefore, I am.

Richard Simmons - I thin; therefore, I am.

Mary Kay - I pink; therefore, I am.

The captain going down with his ship - I sink; therefore, I am.

An intelligent woman - I think; therefore, I am single.

Chinese letterer - I ink; therefore, I ideogram.

The Little Engine That Coud - I think I can, I think I can;
therefore, I think I am, I think I am.

Popeye - I think; therefore, I yam what I yam.

Shakespeare - I think; therefore, Iambic pentameter.

Punnery live session
...a transcript of 'Monday PUNday Night,' a real time conference of several members of our group being witty. A splendid time was had by all. Please note, each contributer holds copyright to his/her original submissions.
(: No cheating. :)

Since 1991 our Monday Punday group has met with fair regularity every week beginning on GEnie; when GEnie closed, we met on various online services, sometimes losing, sometimes rediscovering old members, sometimes meeting new members. Currently we meet on Monday nights at 9pm est in AOL AIM in a chat room called Monday Punday. If you would like to join us, click here for instructions on how to get in.
Join our Group on Yahoo: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mondaypunday

Not everyone likes puns. My sister-in-law sends this:

You pun. End of story. Might as well expect a chimp to stop flinging poop. The day someone makes a funny pun I'll be the first one to laugh.

Dave Barry put it best, in his article Why Humor Is Funny: "If you want to develop a sense of humor of your own, you need to learn some jokes. Notice I do not say "puns". Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up on a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water."

Watching an adult make puns is like watching a grown man suck his thumb for comfort. It's uncomfortable.

Presumably people who hate puns also have a distaste for the wordplay in the works of such writers as Chaucer, Shakespeare, Nabokov...

Limericks
...a collection of original limericks,
plus some old ones from anthologies..

PUNS

Some can't tell a good from a bad one,
Or distinguish a sane from a mad one.
In their perfect world,
No pun would be hurled
From a depth of my mind, if I HAD one.

...O.V. Michaelsen

Links to other pun and wordplay sites:

Richard Lederer's Verbivore Page

Richard Lederer's Pun Links Page

Pun of the Day

Spelling Society Poems

Jokes and other humor:

Redneck Taxidermy

General jokes
Church and Religion
Kids
Puns and wordplay