Chuch and Religion

> Here's some fun ones about kids sayings....
> **********************************************************
>
> A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with
> fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them.
> Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible,
> and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from
> a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
> "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
> "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With
> astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered:
> "I think it's Adam's suit!"
>
> ****************************************************************
> The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he
> preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike
> cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in
> the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.
> After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third
> pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,
> "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
>
> ******************************************************************
> Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were
> sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
> Finally, his big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out
> loud in church."   "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
> Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those
> two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
>
> *******************************************************************
> The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an
> encyclopedia page picturing several national flags. She
> pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag is this?"
> A little girl called out, "That's the flag of our country."
> "Very good," the teacher said. "And what is the name of
> our country?" 'Tis of thee," the girl said confidently.
>
> *********************************************************************
> After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old
> slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.
> As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious,
> her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head
> and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed
> with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her
> three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"
>
> ************************************************************************
>
> Two little boys were visiting their grandfather, and he took
> them to a restaurant for lunch. They couldn't make up their
> minds about what they wanted to eat. Finally the grandfather
> grinned at the server and said, "Just bring them bread and water."
> One of the little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I
> have ketchup on it?"
>
> *************************************************************************
>
> A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any
> brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."
>
> *************************************************************************
>
> A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood
> was like:  "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
> made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.
> We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the
> woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she
> said,  "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
>
> *************************************************************************
>
> *
> My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do
> you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo
> while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
>
> *************************************************************************
>
> *
> A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word
> processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?"
> he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
>
> *************************************************************************
>
> *
> I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet,
> so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask
> what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct.
> But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door,
> saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of
> these yourself!"
>
> *************************************************************************
>
> ***
> A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was
> becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day
> she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother
> of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
>
> *************************************************************************
>
> ***
> A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They
> were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could
> tell her
> what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall
> not
> take the covers off the neighbor's wife.
>
> *************************************************************************
>
> ***
> This next one really happened in Corona, Ca with my son Austin's
> bestbuddy Reece!
>
> It was March 17, 1999 (St. Patrick's Day), and the supermarket was
> bustling as normal.  Mom busy loading groceries onto the conveyer belt
> with one year old in shopping cart and four year old son, Reece, nearby.
>
> An older, grandpa type pinches Reece and tells him he's not wearing
> green!
> Reece, a bit stunned, quickly returns the pinch with a kick to the shin
> of the elderly man and says, "Well, you're not wearing blue!".  By the
> way, I forgot to tell you that Reece loves to play cowboy, and that
> particular day he was wearing his leather, pointed-toe cowboy boots.
> OUCH!!!
>
>
>
>                         Submitted by: Sarah E Lane @ juno.com